Fix Over Freedom
by MarynMoriarty
Summary: Ray withheld one secret about Lloyd that not even Charlie knows. Lloyd doesn't want the team knowing that those college kids weren't the only one's using drugs. Spoliers for 1X10. please R&R.


Lloyd Lowery sat in the passenger seat next to Ray, the other cons had insisted they drive back to Maybell with Charlie. After Lloyd had made some snide comment involving Shea and his heritage, Shea refused to ride with him and Erika took any chance she could to defy Lloyd. Lloyd wasn't especially happy with Ray for what he had told the rest of the team, he was ashamed about what he had done and now Julianne knew.

"Why did you have to tell them?" Lloyd finally asked after quite a few minutes of silence, Ray sighed, he had been waiting for the inevitable voice of Lloyd.

"You guys get into my business I get into yours" was Ray's simple response.

"You didn't have to tell them, you had no right to" said Lloyd his arrogant personality showing thru his words.

"Hey, who's the cop here?" asked Ray in a tone that showed that Lloyd was toeing the line. Lloyd didn't care about crossing any lines, he spoke everything on his mind every minute of the day and didn't think about the consequences.

"Not you" Lloyd said, the tires screeched as Ray hit the breaks.

"Listen Lowery, you know I didn't tell the team everything and if you don't want them to know the whole truth you better keep that stupid mouth of yours shut" warned Ray, Lloyd's expression didn't change but Ray saw the flash of fear in his eyes.

"At least I owned up to what I did, you play cop and treat us like we're beneath you when really you're one of us" Lloyd wasn't scared enough to stop mouthing off. One of his weaknesses he would not own up to, not knowing the right time to shut up.

"You didn't own up to everything Lloyd, you think that the rest of the team will be happy when they find out that the at the same time you prescribed illegal drugs you were shooting up cocain at some casino yourself?" Ray said getting louder each word puncturing Lloyd, hurting him.

"Stop" Lloyd said quietly.

"Or that the main reason you were fired as a professor was because they didn't want your students to know that their brilliant professor was nothing but low-life junkie whom could barely control his addiction long enough to teach a class" continued Ray getting even louder.

"Stop please" whispered Lloyd instinctively reaching for his the crook of his left arm.

"Look at yourself Lloyd" said Ray grabbing at the arm that Lloyd has his hand around and rolling the sleeves back revealing the scars from the needles, Lloyd looked away from his arm and attempted to pull it way but Ray gripped it harder. "You did this to yourself Lloyd and I know your terrified it will happen again, so if you don't want the rest of the team, including Julianne, to know your an addict on edge I'd watch what you say"

"I'm clean Ray, you know that" Lloyd said finally breaking the grip of Ray and pulling the sleeve down as quick as he could so he wouldn't have to see the part of himself he detested.

"You know Lloyd I was surprised when I caught you, I didn't think you'd be dumb enough to go to that particular casino, I was even more surprised when I learned you were high on cocain, that's the moment I realized how stupid you really were. You could have been so much more than a con Lloyd, it's too bad your so stupid" As soon as Ray finished he started the car and they continued driving.

When they arrived at Maybell, the look Lloyd was giving Ray was a mix between anger, hurt and he even looked ashamed. He got out of the car, was cuffed by one of the guards and he accompanied him back into the jail. He was sent to the rec room where he saw that Shea and Erika had already arrived and they were still ignoring him. Swallowed a lump in his throat as he thought about that Shea and Erika were both so tempted to run when they got the chance. But that's not what Lloyd was tempted to do, no Lloyd could care less about escaping, the thing Lloyd was tempted to do was go to an alley he knew all to well and get his fix.

He could stay in jail the rest of his life, but something he would never admit to was that he would chose the fix over freedom. Every time.


End file.
